Hundreds of teenagers from around the world started committing suicide when Facebook got offline today. They were posting their selfies and status updates when Facebook went down.
These teenagers and many in their 20s were not able to understand how it happened to them. They thought their facebook account has been suspended by the company because they sent too many friend request to unknown girls. They were unable to take this as the "social networking site" was their "social life".
Many kids called 911 because they were unable to take the pressure of not being able to post their selfies and status updates showing how much fun they were sitting in class and not paying attention to teachers. Many of these teenagers even tried committing suicide as they couldn't imagine a life without social life, aka social networking site.
Men and women in their 20s and early 30s were little better to handle the pressure. Most credit goes to their bosses who made them stay late at office. That way it their mind was little confused when they got home. When they found out the site was not opening, they first assumed their internet went down. Larry (name changed to protect identity) who works as software engineer went ahead and reset all the settings in his house's router/modem and in his laptop. When that didn't solve the problem he had few shots of whiskey to clear his mind. By that time site was up again and Larry was super happy.
Carla (name changed to protect identity) works as front desk assistant. Her whole day passes in updating photos from office, of colleagues, friends, relatives, nephews and nieces. She was going to update her relationship status from single to engaged when the site went down. Actually one of her colleagues had proposed her today. She liked him and was interested in him. But seeing the "invincible site" go down at exactly same time when she was going to update her relationship status, she decided to not accept his proposal. She saw it as a sign from Gods and broke up with the guy. How can she spend her life with a guy because of whom her lifeline site stopped working?
CIA is looking into the causes of the failure of the site. Many believe its part of revenge of ghosts of Malayasian aeroplane which went down in Indian ocean but was never found. "The dead have come back to make us listen to their stories. They are not able to access Facebook from under the ocean so they took down the site itself" as claimed by a priest.
Many others believe that Saddam Hussein has come back from dead and planned this black-out of the site. They say he was Son of God who was wrongly killed. So God brought him back from dead and gave him superpowers to do what no one else could do...take off the biggest website of the world in an age and time when Internet is more accessible than medicine and food.
Company executives have promised matter will be looked into and those guilty would be given most severe punishment: they would be made to write an article for us.
Till the time this article was written, few features of the site were still erratic, like the profile pictures were not visible for many, and many other photos were not loading correctly. SWAT teams are searching nook and corner of each computer labs in the country looking for the culprits.
We will keep you updated as and when things improve. Till then if your Facebook account is not working then don't worry. Its NOT that your account is suspended because you sent too many friend requests to unknown girls. Its the problem in site. Have faith in God and please...we request with folded hands...please do not try to commit suicide. The whole country is with you in this hard time.
Feel free to call us at (XXX) XXX-XXXX in case you want to talk to someone. The digits are in coded language so that you can spend some time to decode them.
(this article is a work of fiction written with intention to bring smiles on your faces)
Share with your loved ones to spread smile.
These teenagers and many in their 20s were not able to understand how it happened to them. They thought their facebook account has been suspended by the company because they sent too many friend request to unknown girls. They were unable to take this as the "social networking site" was their "social life".
Many kids called 911 because they were unable to take the pressure of not being able to post their selfies and status updates showing how much fun they were sitting in class and not paying attention to teachers. Many of these teenagers even tried committing suicide as they couldn't imagine a life without social life, aka social networking site.
Men and women in their 20s and early 30s were little better to handle the pressure. Most credit goes to their bosses who made them stay late at office. That way it their mind was little confused when they got home. When they found out the site was not opening, they first assumed their internet went down. Larry (name changed to protect identity) who works as software engineer went ahead and reset all the settings in his house's router/modem and in his laptop. When that didn't solve the problem he had few shots of whiskey to clear his mind. By that time site was up again and Larry was super happy.
Carla (name changed to protect identity) works as front desk assistant. Her whole day passes in updating photos from office, of colleagues, friends, relatives, nephews and nieces. She was going to update her relationship status from single to engaged when the site went down. Actually one of her colleagues had proposed her today. She liked him and was interested in him. But seeing the "invincible site" go down at exactly same time when she was going to update her relationship status, she decided to not accept his proposal. She saw it as a sign from Gods and broke up with the guy. How can she spend her life with a guy because of whom her lifeline site stopped working?
CIA is looking into the causes of the failure of the site. Many believe its part of revenge of ghosts of Malayasian aeroplane which went down in Indian ocean but was never found. "The dead have come back to make us listen to their stories. They are not able to access Facebook from under the ocean so they took down the site itself" as claimed by a priest.
Many others believe that Saddam Hussein has come back from dead and planned this black-out of the site. They say he was Son of God who was wrongly killed. So God brought him back from dead and gave him superpowers to do what no one else could do...take off the biggest website of the world in an age and time when Internet is more accessible than medicine and food.
Company executives have promised matter will be looked into and those guilty would be given most severe punishment: they would be made to write an article for us.
Till the time this article was written, few features of the site were still erratic, like the profile pictures were not visible for many, and many other photos were not loading correctly. SWAT teams are searching nook and corner of each computer labs in the country looking for the culprits.
We will keep you updated as and when things improve. Till then if your Facebook account is not working then don't worry. Its NOT that your account is suspended because you sent too many friend requests to unknown girls. Its the problem in site. Have faith in God and please...we request with folded hands...please do not try to commit suicide. The whole country is with you in this hard time.
Feel free to call us at (XXX) XXX-XXXX in case you want to talk to someone. The digits are in coded language so that you can spend some time to decode them.
(this article is a work of fiction written with intention to bring smiles on your faces)
Share with your loved ones to spread smile.
This is hilarious
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